Everybody Poops

Verse 1 Everybody poops Everybody poops Everybody poops in holes Some covered by porcelain thrones Some are nothing but dirt and stones

Some seats are heated Some seats are gold-plated, sanitized and treated Some don’t have seats, you just gotta squat That’s just what you got

Chorus Everybody poops Everybody poops From kings in their marble rooms To kids in their light-up shoes No matter what you own You’re still alone When nature calls the truth

Everybody poops

Verse 2 Not everybody uses toilet paper wipes Some use water jets Others use rocks Some just improvise

Some are terrible Some are easy Some are splashy Some are breezy Some take time Some won’t stop Some you pray just drop

Chorus Everybody poops Everybody poops From penthouse views to camping loops From fancy spa to forest roots No matter what you prove No matter what you choose We all pay nature’s dues

Everybody poops

Bridge (Deadpan / Spoken style) It doesn’t care who you are It doesn’t care what you make It doesn’t care about your car Or the promises you break

When the moment comes There’s no escape

Final Chorus (Bigger but still straight-faced) Everybody poops Everybody poops In silver stalls or muddy boots It humbles presidents and brutes You can laugh or you can mope But there’s no way to elope From the oldest human truth

Everybody poops